Saddam Hussein - the beast from the East

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N.B. I am aware that this article is out of date, but I simply can't be fucked to change the tenses.

Saddam Hussein. Is he as much of a threat to global security as the USA and timbo make him out to be? Well, he is a ruthless megalomaniac that has slaughtered most of his people, but that's not why America wants his country. It's either because he presents a threat to America with his long-range missiles that the U.S Intelligence services seem to know about, but have not informed the U.N weapons inspectors of, or that they want his oil, and they can only get it with him out of the way. Ironic, isn't it, that America funded Saddam and gave him implements of mass destruction during the Iran-Iraq war of the early '80s? Reports surfaced this week, of which I read in The Guardian, of a weapons factory in Iraq that the Americans had spotted, and that we British had funded and covered up. Such is our loyalty to the Americans that we must even deceive our own people to get on the President's 'Good Boy' list. I am for deposing him, but not for inflicting the angst felt by the West on the millions of innocent Iraqis that he has slowly purged of freedom.

Anyway, Saddam. He is a brutal, Stalinist tyrant that must be eliminated, one way or another. The world's most famous and despised Arab leader, he is feared and loathed more by people in his country than by any other head of state. The Iraqis are forced every day to live in a totalitarianist society, where pictures and statues of Saddam glare down on them like Big Brother himself. The propaganda that he peddles out depicts him as a 'valiant knight' leading Iraq to glory, but the reality could not be any more different. Iraq is bankrupt, crippled by economic instability and U.N sanctions imposed after the last Gulf War. He has launched major attacks on two of his neighbours (Iran in 1980 and Kuwait in 1990, both ending in humiliating defeat) and has been a constant menace to free society. He has killed a number of his political opponents, or opponents of his regime, and has had a large number of his own people executed, often using them as guinea pigs for his biological arsenal. For instance, during his suppression of the Kurds in northern Iraq, he used chemical weaponry to drive them back, and an attack against the Shi'ia in the south resulting in entire towns being razed to the ground. And his attitude towards Westerners has been hostile, though on not as large a scale as towards his own people. During the Gulf War, he paraded British and American hostages, some of them children, on live TV, to reassure the world of their well-being, and to refute his reputation as a barbaric dictator.

And now for something completely different.
I was only made aware of Saddam's striking resemblance to Joseph Stalin today when my history teacher mentioned it in passing. And, on further reflection, he was kind of like Hitler as well. So here you are.

STALIN, SADDAM AND HITLER - HOW DO THEY COMPARE?

All three rose to power by manipulating their positions and killing off their political opponents.
Both engaged in mass murder of their own people, simply to keep a hold on their tyrannical rule.
The people of their countries cheered for them not through popularity, but through fear.
All three have a moustaches in some way, shape or form. Nuff said.

And to finish, the Saddam Song! (sung to the tune of 'Jenny from the Block' by Jennifer Lopez)

Don't be fooled by the bombs that I've got
I'm still/I'm still Saddam from Iraq
Used to have a lot, now I have a little
Of weapons of mass destruction. (Repeat until audience kills themselves)